It is said that when a storm approaches, bison walk directly into it. At first, this seems to go against every instinct for survival. Yet it is often the fastest way through the storm. By facing the direction from which the weather is coming, the bison allows the storm to pass over more quickly. By turning away and trying to outrun it, an animal may remain trapped in the storm’s path for hours.

That image echoes a philosophy we used in Iraq. When new soldiers arrived, we would tell them, “Just embrace the suck.” The phrase usually drew a laugh, followed by a wide-eyed stare. Then we explained: the more you complain about the heat, the desert flies, the camel spiders, and everything else beyond your control, the more frustrated you become. But when you accept those hardships as inevitable parts of the mission, they lose their power over you.

Adversity in sobriety is inevitable too. Getting sober does not mean life will stop throwing curveballs at us. During our drinking years, many of us spent countless hours running from pain and drowning our sorrows in the temporary relief of intoxication—only to wake the next morning hungover, with the same pain still staring us in the face.

In recovery, we learn a different way: we face adversity, walk into it, and work through it. This does not mean we become martyrs or gluttons for punishment. It means we begin to understand that problems lose their power when we stop running from them.

The housecleaning steps of the 12-Step recovery program—Steps 4 through 10—offer a practical method for dealing with adversity. They teach us to clean up the wreckage of our past, so we no longer trip over what is behind us.

Steps 4 and 5: Face the Facts

We begin with a fact-finding and fact-facing process. We record the grievances and resentments that have built up in our lives. Then, with moral courage, we sit down with another person and speak honestly about what we have done, holding nothing back.

In doing so, we look straight into the storm of shame, disappointment, frustration, and fear—and begin moving forward. We are learning to face adversity instead of running from it.

Step 8: Become Willing

Later in the program, we work to bring the scales of social justice back into balance. We make a list of the people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. When we are not yet willing, we may need to pray for the willingness to become willing.

Again, we “embrace the suck” by removing the recovery tripping hazards that could keep us from living happy, joyous, and free.

Step 9: Make Amends

Once more, we square our shoulders and walk directly into the storm by contacting those we have harmed and making amends where appropriate. We also remember that the people we have hurt get a vote in the matter.

We ask sincerely, “What can I do to make this right?” Then we listen. When they tell us what they need in order to move forward, we take the necessary action to make the amends they have requested.

If we ignore their request(s), the process becomes little more than an exercise in relieving our own guilt, shame, and remorse. This may feel emotionally satisfying, but it is not the same as making amends.

Step 10: Keep the Path Clear

After we have cleaned up the wreckage of our past and begin living in “the sunlight of the spirit,” we keep our moral compass pointed toward true north by promptly admitting when we are wrong.

We do not want problems, issues, and concerns to build until we begin looking for relief in old places. This maintenance step is crucial for long-term recovery.

Be Like the Bison

Animals such as cattle often drift with the wind and try to outrun the weather. In doing so, they prolong their exposure to harsh conditions. Bison, by contrast, charge straight into the tempest. By facing the storm head-on, they reduce the time they must endure the harsh winds and heavy snow.

Some people may have the luxury of flowing like water along the path of least resistance. But those of us in recovery know that the best way through the storm is to face adversity head-on.