In the chapter “Into Action” AA tells us that the recovery of family life is going to be slow. Page 83 says “There is a long period of reconstruction ahead.” The suggestion is that we ask our Creator every morning to show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love.

Part of the reason recovery is slow, is that it takes time for our brains to heal. Recovery is not just a matter of stopping drinking. Recovery takes time. Our brains need time to heal.

How Alcohol Impacts the Brain

On August 4, 2026 the Washington Post printed an article entitled “Here’s what happens to your brain when you stop drinking alcohol.” The article stated that, over time, alcohol causes a physical change in the brain, decreasing the volume of gray matter. Our brains get smaller with chronic drinking. The results of chronic drinking include depression, disrupted sleep, and increased risk of dementia.

My own mother had a life of chronic drinking and it developed into alcoholic dementia. She was an extreme case, but would toddle around the house with a martini glass in her hand, laughing and saying “I’ve had too meeny martooni’s”. And then she did. As her brain shrank, she lost the ability to care for herself and ended up in a “memory care” nursing home. Eventually, her brain forgot even how to breathe, and she died.

Early in a drinking career, drinks produce a euphoric, happy intoxication, releasing dopamine and endorphins. Later, as drinking becomes chronic, alcohol produces less pleasure and more of it is required to get even a little reward. The stress system is triggered and people stop drinking to feel good. We start drinking just to feel less bad.

Alcoholic drinkers have less gray matter, that is, smaller brains than normal. They become less able to think and have feelings that match reality.

The Science of Healing and Recovery

The article has good news, as well. The authors wrote about neuroplasticity in the brain’s ability to recover if drinking is stopped in time. After six to twelve months of abstinence, people experience a recovery in their thinking functions, including memory, attention, and “executive function”. Executive function is the ability to make a decision and carry it out, to execute the decision. The brain grows and weighs more.

At six to twelve months of abstinence, people sleep better, lose body weight, and have better energy and concentration.

Over the last 30 years, I have suggested to people leaving treatment not date anyone for the first six months to a year of sobriety and they react as if I were crazy. At 30 days of sobriety, we are usually feeling physically well. Part of feeling physically well is feeling sexual, so dating is on our minds.

I suggest that if people start dating immediately, then at 6 months to 1 year sober, they may find themselves trying to get out of an unsuitable relationship. With 30 days of recovery, we are physically well, but emotionally immature. At one year sober, with AA or NA programs, we are amazingly different than we were at the beginning of our programs. The one year sober person should begin dating for mature and fulfilling relationships.

A Process That Takes Time

I’ve been going to AA meetings for over 37 years. I ask those who are accepting their one year medallions how different they are than they were at one month sober. Every single person talks about the amazing changes they have had over the past twelve months. That is because recovery is a process. The Twelve Steps are a process. Putting down the drink is a down payment on the process of recovery.

Tremendous changes happen in the brain that grant us gifts of spirituality, love, faithfulness, honor, inspiration, and maturity. They cannot come faster than the healing of the brain. This healing takes time.

At about one year clean and sober, our brains have healed enough that we are finally able to fully take all twelve steps, and fully able to experience all that a loving Higher Power has for us.

John’s book “Being Sober and Becoming Happy” is available from Amazon.com.