The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is described in many ways, as a simple program, an honest program, a Twelve Step program, or a recovery program. I believe that it is also a kind program. In God’s universe, no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted. In AA we tell each other the truth about our alcoholism. We write out the truth about our own lives in steps four and eight, and we listen to other alcoholics’ truth in step five. In sponsorship we give feedback that is often blunt, but throughout our program, we are kind.

That kindness has been with us from the beginnings of AA. In Bill’s story, he wrote that he was placed in a nationally known hospital for the mental and physical rehabilitation of alcoholics through the kindness of his brother-in-law. There, Bill Wilson wrote “I met a kind doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, both bodily and mentally.”

In the chapter “How It Works” AA says “We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.”

As we start to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one, we lose our tendency for gossip or criticism. When another alcoholic has a relapse, we are simply supportive of their return to sobriety, and never critical or condemning. Instead of isolating the person who has relapsed, we reach out to them with extra support and kindness.

On page 83 of the Big Book, AA writes about a long period of reconstruction for family life. Our book gives this advice: “So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”

In the tenth step, the Big Book poses this question: “Were we kind and loving toward all”.

Perhaps this is easier within the confines of AA, because we have made an agreement to take these Twelve Steps together. We recognize that all alcoholics are sick with the same disease. We give some latitude for misbehavior, some tolerance for acting out. The greater challenge is practicing kindness wherever we go, in everyday life.

There are two people living in my home, my wife Priscilla and myself. I practice kindness at home. Last week I was at my AA meeting and my phone was on “mute”. Suddenly it blasted through with a loud sound I did not recognize and the screen said “ADT”, which is the alarm company. I picked it up and the operator said there was a fire alarm at my home.

I left at once and drove four minutes to my house. Priscilla had burnt some food on the stove, causing a lot of smoke. She pressed buttons to cancel the alarm sound but did not call the alarm company or 911 to cancel the fire trucks. They arrived two minutes after I did.

My first thought was to criticize her for not calling them off. I wanted to make this her fault. Instead, I waited until the trucks were gone and the smoke had cleared. I explained that the burglar alarm can be suppressed at the box but the fire trucks can only be cancelled with a 911 phone call. I made sure that I didn’t sound critical or angry. She was already upset, but I shared information in a kindly way without starting a fight.

I do the grocery shopping and do the dishes. Priscilla cooks. At the supermarket, I always say hello to the cashiers, and “how are you?” I also listen to what they say. I try to use the same cashiers when I go. As a result, we are getting to know each other. A little kindness goes a long way.

AA is a kind program. As we progress through the steps, we begin to practice this principle in all our affairs.